And it’s not because someone you know is sick or maybe someone you love has hurt you.. It’s not because you’re suffering the loss of a life or even a pet. It’s for things that are deep down inside of you.. Things that nobody else knows but you. Things that if you shared them with other people they would make you feel exposed, naked, and vulnerable. Those feelings deep inside of you that make you feel weak.
Some days it be the fact that you moved 1,600 miles away from your family and you miss your daily interaction with them… Some days it may be the fact that since moving you’ve broken ties with the core females who’ve been there through it all and you’ve since struggled to replace those core females in your life.. Some days it may be the fact that you just feel like the world is trying to put itself against you and remind you of all the beautiful things you left back in California.. Whatever the reason may be for you, some days… it’s okay to cry.
And today I cried. I broke down and cried like a silly little girl.
I don’t know what it is about us as humans that when we are feeling vulnerable or when we’ve reached her breaking point that makes us produce tears. I hate crying in front of other people. Especially those people who mean the most to me. There’s something about them seeing me like that. That strong, happy, smiling girl… Broken and hurting from her inner feelings. I hate that our society deems crying as a sign of weakness or that guys write you off as “too emotional” or “hormonal” if you cry. And at the same time, I hate that society deems that men shouldn’t cry. It makes them a “sissy” (or worse) if they cry.
But the truth is that no matter who you are, crying is therapeutic. There’s something about that release, those tears falling down your cheeks, maybe even curling up in a ball and sobbing that feels good. Although you aren’t really accomplishing anything… It feels like you’re letting those negative, awful feelings inside of you go. And there’s something about breaking down and crying that in a round about way makes you feel stronger in the end. It makes you feel renewed. Like you can start fresh again. Something about the tears that wipe your inner slate clean. You faced your inner demons, you called them out, you’ve let them come to the surface. Those things are no longer eating you away inside.
Of course you could have just swallowed those feelings and moved on. You could have pushed them back down and instead acted like everything is okay. But instead, you cried. You broke down and lost it. But that’s okay. It’s a reminder that we are all just human, we aren’t perfect. We all have downfalls, we all struggle. And it’s in our moments of struggle that we hope the people who we love most are there to pick us up.
It was in that moment today, he was there to pick me up.. I sat at my desk and tried not to let the tears fall as he talked to me about the subject that broke the camel’s back or I guess in this case opened the flood gates… But eventually they did. I cried. He held me, he let me cry. He wiped away my tears like you would for a child who has just skinned their knee. But it was in that moment that he didn’t need to know why I was crying, he just knew I needed to be picked up.. So he did. He took my face into his hands, put his forehead to mine, and looked directly into my eyes. And even though I was feeling vulnerable, like he could literally see right into my soul, see my downfalls and my deepest feelings.. He uttered the words “It’s okay. I’m here and we will get through this. Together.” And just like that, he picked me up.
It’s days like today I am reminded of the many ways I love my farmer and I am so thankful he was brought into my life. I’ve said before he is my rock and indeed he is. My strong and steady in the storm, my anchor in the sea of life.
So whether it be you, your mother, your father, your sister, your friend… whoever it may be. Some days.. it’s okay for us to cry. Let it out, wash away those feelings.. And once you’re done, wipe away those tears, and start anew. But most of all, be reminded you’re not the only one out there who needs to cry sometimes. Like I said before, we are all human. And sometimes it’s good to remind ourselves that.
The soul would have no rainbow had the eyes no tears. ~John Vance Cheney
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Therapeutic, definitely. And absolutely necessary.
“The soul would have no rainbow had the eyes no tears.”
Author
🙂 Absolutely. Sometimes it’s good to remind ourselves of that!
This brought tears to my eyes! Thank you for saying what so many of us really need to hear. It’s okay to cry, and it’s okay to shed sympathetic tears as well…no matter the gender.
Author
Amen Carolyn! Thank you for reading and for commenting! I feel so blessed to have such wonderful social media friends!
Beautiful post. Been there many times — most recently last Friday. Thank you for letting me know I’m not the alone who has this happen and feels this way.
Author
Elinor- thank you for your wonderful comment! Sometimes it’s nice knowing we aren’t alone! 🙂 Hang in there and keep your head up!
I feel like this post was written for me…I’ve been there a time or two and you are absolutely right, sometimes you just gotta ‘cry it out.’
Author
Glad I am surrounded by ladies who feel the same as I do sometimes! 🙂
This is beautiful! I have to admit I’m a crier – and it gets worse when I’m exhausted, so I’m sure I’ll have tears as well in the next week. It’ll be nice to remember that I’m not the only one!
Beautiful post! Hugs to you Jenny!
Author
Thanks Shannon! Miss you!!
Everyone needs a good cry. Hope you are feeling better!!!!
As a person that moved 2500 miles away from the only world she knew, to live in a different region, country and climate- i hear you. I moved here (North Dakota) from the Caribbean (Dominican Republic), and even though i love this place, and it is truly my home, i miss the people i left behind, and there are times that i also cry. I cry for the country and friends that i left behind, because i can’t ever go back to the same place: people change, places change- like a river 🙂 life goes on… I wish people would understand that sometimes i cry, not because i am depressed, or because i want to go back- i just cry for what is not and never will be again. Loved this, because I’ve been there more than once in this crazy journey of mine… And i know I’ll do it again, any chance i get 🙂 Nothing better than a good cry…
Sometimes you do need a good cry. Some days it seems like I cry a lot. It seems the closer I get to people, the more I care. . .and caring leads to emotion. . .blah, blah, blah. It is sup hard to just pick up and move cross country, and some days you will miss it. I hope you are feeling better soon.
Author
Thank you Pam! I have been doing MUCH better.. It is true, some days you just have to cry, get it out, and move on! 🙂
I’m way older than you, and I moved from Minnesota to California – just the reverse – and sometimes those feelings of “I-don’t-want-to-be-here” are so overwhelming. All those times of saying goodbye to family at an airport, saying goodbye to parents I knew I would never see again, and coming “home” to a climate, a husband’s family, and a culture that were /are so foreign – (even after 30 years); all these are reasons to cry. And then because of my own kids, my self-respect and my stubborn Swedish/German character, I pick up and move on. And you will too. You are lucky in that you have a husband that “gets it”, even though he may never fully understand.
Author
Thank you so much for the comment! One of the reasons I share my story or our story is that I love the ability it has to bring people together! It’s always nice to know that someone else out there has felt like you do at one point in time. And yes, I have a feeling that although days like that may become few and far between, they will still happen. Even after 20 or 30 years! 😉
Dear Jenny, I am so glad you are sharing your story and remind us that we are all human (we forget that sometimes). The world is cruel and it trains people how to be tough and for some of us become cynical because of it. Yes, I cry while you are baring your soul through those words. We miss you in California, but I congratulate you and happy that you have found a partner in life that truly there every step of your ways. Best of all, he is real and human as beautiful as you! Much love. Hang&Olivier
sinacle
Hi Jenny! I know exactly how you feel. I moved 1300 miles away from my family in Indiana to be with my farmer and rancher in Montana. Times are tough and the lifestyle is so different but I love every minute of it. Reading some of your posts, this one especially, really hit home. It felt like you were me writing how I feel sometimes. I look forward to learning more about your experiences and seeing how similar they are to mine.
Author
Michelle… Thank you so much for stopping by my blog! I love making these kinds of connections! It has been extremely hard at times. With my post going viral and hitting Huffington Post I’ve had several commentors talk about how I “romanticize” it all… What they don’t know is that I have had my fair share of hard times and lonely nights! It helps so much to just know there are women out there who have been in my shoes! Hope to keep in touch!! 🙂