Lucy Makes Three: Our First Home Birth

Our Sweet Lucy Rose joined the chaos on August 15th at 1:30 PM, lovingly coined “Baby Wuce” by her big brother and big sister. Lucy makes three and although we didn’t necessarily plan the timing of her joining our family, God certainly did. Almost three years with unexplained infertility to get Levi, a year and a half (and a miscarriage) to get Lily, and well, Lucy literally just happened when we weren’t even trying. God’s humor isn’t lost on us and clearly, God has something big planned for our little Lucy.

 

 

My third birth and full-term pregnancy and let me tell you, each pregnancy is different. I was anticipating going into this one it being harder than Lily. Lily’s pregnancy was physically really hard on me. This pregnancy, it was literally a breeze, well as much of a breeze as pregnancy can be. Up until the very end, I experienced very little of the issues I had with Lily and for that, I’m so grateful. The part that made this pregnancy the hardest was caring for my other two during the periods of exhaustion and through the emotions of planting and spraying.

 

This pregnancy was also different in that about halfway through, I decided to completely change plans. I started seeing a midwife and planned a home birth, which certainly being this rural raises some eyebrows. But honestly, now that I’ve experienced it, I wouldn’t have it any other way. God’s humor also comes into play here too, prior to Levi, I was that woman who thought home births were crazy and I would never be doing that. Well, here we are and I’m eating my words yet again. While I was pregnant with Lily, I started looking into it. But I literally didn’t even know where to start looking as midwives in North Dakota are rather elusive due to North Dakota not licensing midwives. But something in me this time wouldn’t let it rest and honestly through what I can’t explain as anything other than divine intervention from God, we found a midwife out of South Dakota who was moving about 120 miles away from us and practicing within 90 miles of us. Thanks to more divine intervention, she took us on as clients and I made the switch.

 

 

My care under the midwife couldn’t have been more different than my care under an OB. My midwife was so much more thorough to ensure I wasn’t just growing a baby as I should be but I was also nourishing myself, keeping my stress low, taking supplements as I should be, staying hydrated. etc. The care she provided treated me as a unique, individual human being, not a one size fits all protocol patient. I was given informed consent every step of the way and throughout the process, I learned SO much in regards to pregnancy and birth. If I had any issues arise during my pregnancy, she gave me solutions to try to help mitigate any pain or alleviate any issues.

 

 

Of course, the big question before I get into my actual birth story is, how is it even possible to live this rural and have a home birth? I attribute much of it to the care that my midwife provided. She did her best to alleviate what could turn into interventions later on before they even potentially would become an issue. Knowing my history and the few minor things I dealt with Levi and Lily, she helped guide me to alleviate those things becoming issues in this pregnancy. She helped me maintain a healthy pregnancy so I could grow a healthy baby and more importantly birth a baby naturally at home. The second factor is finding a midwife who is familiar and used to working in rural areas, since the vast majority of our state and South Dakota as well is rural, the midwives who practice in these places are very familiar with the rural landscape and harsh winters. It can be rather commonplace for them to attend births 2+ hours away. Asking ALLLLL the questions and having a nearly 2 hour conversation with my midwife when we met, any and all of my fears or concerns were completely alleviated. I walked away from that meeting with her with a sense of peace that this was the path we were meant to take and she was the one who was supposed to be walking it with us. There were far too many coincidences for it to not be divine intervention. And as for Mark, as long as I felt confident in it, he was in.

 

 

So, number three. And our first homebirth. 

 

If you remember way back when I had Levi and Lily a day apart in gestation. 39 weeks and 3 days and 39 weeks and 4 days. With Lucy, those dates came and went with no sign of labor in sight. It wasn’t until I hit a day or two before my due date that I really felt like I would go into labor. And much like the other two, the day before there was no denying that something was happening and things could change any minute. Both Mark and I had anxiety over when she would arrive, we had SO MUCH going on with Levi starting preschool a few days after my due date, my parents flying in, and also trying to finish up winter wheat harvest in the case she came early.

 

On the morning of my due date, August 15th, and also the Feast of the Assumption of Mary, I woke up around 3 AM with active labor contractions. I started to time them for the next hour just to see what they would do and I did my best to relax and even go back to sleep if I could. Sure enough, they were getting closer in duration. So I texted our birth photographer coming from 3 hours away and my midwife to let her know what was happening. We had been in contact almost every day the week prior so she could keep tabs on when it could be time and she trusted that I knew when it would be time. I told her to take her time, it didn’t feel like this was going to be a speedy labor but things were definitely beginning. I quit timing my contractions, it was giving me anxiety, and knowing that my birth team was on their way was enough assurance I needed to just let my body do what it is made to do. 

 

 

Mark woke up at 6 AM to find me in labor wandering around our bedroom and bouncing on the exercise ball. By that time, I felt so calm and at ease to just be able to focus on breathing through my contractions, not worrying about timing them or worrying about when we should pack up and make the drive to the hospital. I helped Mark pack lunches for our kids for daycare, made myself some breakfast, got ready for the day, and wandered around the house.

 

 

By 9 AM or so, both my midwife and my birth photographer were here. My parents also had come from California a few days prior so they were here as well. Once my midwife and her student arrived, they got some vitals on me and assessed how I was doing. Her student, who has been a doula for nearly 10 years, is trained in Spinning Babies and other techniques so she set to work doing some of those movements to help align and open my pelvis and ensure baby and I were in optimal position to birth.

 

 

She also wandered around with me and alleviated much of the back labor I was experiencing. Lucy’s labor was different from Lily’s in that it was a mixture of traditional contractions and back labor, but not nearly as intense of back labor as Levi was. 

 

 

 

Around noon, I wandered out into the kitchen to find some food and join the big party going on in my kitchen (HA!), Mark’s mom had also come over by that time, of course bringing food with her. I nibbled on a light lunch and by the time lunch was over, I was ready to retreat. My contractions were getting longer and much more intense, I was starting to shut down processing and draw inward for what was to come.

 

 

 

 

Both my midwife and her student decided it was time to start the bath. While I labored on the toilet (pro tip: honestly, it feels so good to sit in that position) they prepped everything from the tub to what they needed to our bed in the case we would be moving there to deliver a baby. I moved into the tub and it didn’t take long for things to get really intense. I hit that “is it almost over yet?” phase which is the sign I am about to transition. Transition hit and I literally could not find a comfortable position. It hurt to sit back on my spine and being on my knees hanging on the side of the tub was so intense. 

 

 

 

With a lot of those contractions, I began bearing down and feeling the need to push out and down, she was coming. I bore down on the edge of the tub and my midwife watched and waited for her head to make its appearance. I could feel her head come out and go back in (talk about intense) and then her head finally made it out. But that release of pressure of birthing a baby didn’t come, her body wasn’t coming out as it should. My midwife acted immediately, getting me out of the tub and onto the floor so she could see what was going on better. In the moment, it felt like I hit the floor and Lucy came right out. In reality, my midwife actually reached in and helped collapse Lucy’s shoulders to bring her out. For whatever reason, she didn’t turn as she should have and as most babies do when coming through the birth canal. Once she was out, they laid her immediately on my chest. I knew she was okay as she was laying on me, but as Mark puts it, she was “like a calf that needed a little tickle on its nose”. With some assistance, she finally cried out and started to get her color. 

 

 

 

 

 

In the presence of her Daddy and both of her grandmas and in her own home, our sweet Lucy Rose was born. On our bathroom floor. Not exactly how we had envisioned it, but hey, that is birth. And she was a healthy 8 lb. 7 oz. and 21 1/2 inches long baby girl. Once my midwife assessed that Lucy was doing well, I got up off the floor and shimmied over to our bed. Mark cut her cord and I got her to latch immediately. Much like her sister, she nursed for the next hour or so. After a while and some herbal tinctures, I delivered my placenta and then got to relish in the baby snuggles – in my own bed surrounded by all of the ones I love.

 

 

 

Once Lucy was done nursing and went into a deep sleep, I handed her off to grandma and I got up to take a quick shower and was served a beautiful plate of food cooked by my Dad. My midwife, her student, and both my mom and mother-in-law got everything cleaned up and back in order. By that time, Mark’s dad had joined us. And it wasn’t too long after that, Levi and Lily got to meet their sweet baby sister. My midwife did her full assessment of Lucy and checked me over thoroughly before she headed out for the evening.

 

 

 

 

That first evening, although it is completely exhausting after just giving birth, it was truly elation. Having so many people around to care for me and my kids and being able to take in my newborn baby in the comfort of our own home was so much different than being in a hospital bed far away from my kids and our family. Having my village around me (including my birth team), truly made all the difference. I always felt like due to our distance from the hospital, those first nights with my other two felt very lonely sitting in the hospital just Mark and I. And although it got intense when Lucy was coming out, I never felt panic or fear over what was happening. Without any doubt or hesitation, I would do it again in a heartbeat. There is truly no experience like birthing a baby in the comfort of your own home. 

 

 

So Lucy makes three. And goodness, she has taken us all captive by just how sweet and precious she is. Her siblings are obsessed with her and literally fight over who she gets to look at. She’s the part of our family we didn’t know we needed and she fits into the chaos perfectly. We are so thankful for this last month with her. What a gift she has been.

 

 

The miracle of life and birth amazes me every single time. Being able to carry and birth babies is truly such a gift from God, not one that I’m owed, but one that I embrace more and more with each child.

 

I am so grateful this time around to have these beautiful moments captured. To remember not only the beauty but also the moments that have sanctified me as I grow in my motherhood. A huge thank you to Regina at Sweet Clover Photography for capturing these precious moments for our family. And for those of you who have prayed for our family throughout all of this and continue to do so, thank you.