How to Thrive During Harvest

The word “survival” is often thrown around when we start to talk about harvest. We share tips and find solidarity in surviving harvest like some kind of rite of passage or badge for us farm wives. But recently, I’ve been on a journey to live ruthlessly intentional. I want life, no matter what the season, to be filled with things like joy and peace even in the midst of chaos. And this is only possible by living a life with intention. It won’t magically come about just by taking a backseat and letting life happen to me.

In the spirit of living ruthlessly intentional, something about the phrase “surviving harvest” has really started to bother me. It rubs me the wrong way and honestly, it gives off the feeling that harvest is something that just happens to us and we are required to just find mechanisms to survive it. No, harvest doesn’t just happen to us. We CHOOSE this lifestyle and along with that, we CHOOSE these seasons. And in choosing it – we can also choose to thrive during these seasons, not just survive. And honestly it has taken me FIVE years of this farm wife thing to realize that I want to thrive. Which got me thinking – what does thriving in a season like harvest even mean? For me, it means I want to be intentional. I don’t want the anxiety, worry, and stress to eat me alive and consume my mind and my heart. I want to find flickers of peace, joy, and structure in a time that is the most chaotic and unpredictable. Don’t you? 

So how in the hell do we do that?? Well, there are a few things I’ve learned in my years married to that handsome farm man of mine. Your list may be different than mine, after all, we all have different priorities and want different things out of life. But I challenge you to not just survive this harvest season, thrive!

LOWER EXPECTATIONS

Alright, I have to brag on my husband for a minute here. He doesn’t get the credit he deserves for the many small ways he shows me love and serves me every day, especially when he knows I’m beyond stressed. He shows up and he does what he can for me. And that deserves to be reciprocated to him. When he’s in the busiest of seasons, I don’t hold him to all those obligations as much. In other words, I lower my expectations. If the dishwasher doesn’t get unloaded, a job that is typically his out of my hatred for it, I don’t hold it against him. And no matter how much I hate it, I unload it without resentment and without grumbling to him about it. Now, all of that is easier said than done.

But extending a little leniency and understanding during the busiest and most stressful seasons of life ultimately helps keep us in a more positive and more loving relationship with one another. It allow him to fully focus on the stresses before him, without worrying I’m at home being angry because he “didn’t do something”. And I extend him that courtesy knowing fully well that when a stressful season of life comes for me, he’ll extend me same courtesy. After all, that’s what healthy relationships are all about – a beautiful give and take. 

COMMUNICATE BETTER

If you’ve ever been asked to move equipment or better yet, operate equipment – you know the struggle of your husband trying to communicate with you on where to go or what to do. And you know that probably 99% of the time this will end up in an all out fight. Sometimes it even ends in tears. We all have that one story. Even though I don’t regularly operate equipment, I often feel like there are times during harvest where it feels like my husband and I are trying to communicate with one another via hand signals, usually reserved for operating equipment, in our day to day life. Or it’s like we are speaking a different language when in reality both of us are indeed speaking English.

This happens more than I like to admit and more often than not, it comes from a place of little sleep, a lot of stress, and very little time to get on the same page. Knowing that this can easily happen, I make communication with my husband a priority. And that doesn’t mean dumping all the stresses of my day when he walks in the door. Sometimes this means being quiet and letting him dump all the stresses of his day on me. Sometimes this just means spending a few minutes a week making sure we’re on the same page and still speaking the same language. And sometimes this means being wise on discerning when is the right time to address important things we need to discuss and when isn’t the right time. Making healthy communication a priority can alleviate a host of other problems that arise when stress and tensions are high.

PRACTICE GRATITUDE 

Gratitude work, even outside of stressful times like harvest, is just a general good habit to add to your life. After all, the more you find to be thankful for, the less you find to complain about. And you’re also more likely to spend your day looking for ways and reasons to be thankful or grateful versus looking for ways to let your daily life ruin your day.

Gratitude work doesn’t have to be complicated or take a lot of time out of your day. Just spend a few minutes every day writing down 5-10 things you’re grateful for. It doesn’t have to be revolutionary. It can be as simple as “grateful for auto steer and toilet paper in the tractor.” Amen, girlfriend, amen. I promise the more you become grateful for things in your life, the more you’ll reframe your perspective and look for the good in every situation.

FIND A ROUTINE

I’ve shared before how establishing routines has changed. my. life. It has allowed me to worry and use up less mental stress on things that just need to get done. Finding a routine doesn’t have to be revolutionary or elaborate. It can be simple. There’s beauty in simplicity and minimalism. Don’t over complicate it. Stay off Pinterest. Just write down some things you’d like to get done on a daily basis and start attaching those things to what I like to call anchors. Anchors are things you intrinsically do every day – waking up and going to bed are great anchors. So, say, you could attach tidying up your house before going to bed. Or making lunch for the day after waking up. And then do that same set of steps every day until you figure out it works or it doesn’t. Adjust your routine to fit your life. Maybe it works better to pack lunches the night before because getting out the door in the mornings is chaos.

Whatever routine you want to establish, you’re never going to get there if you don’t start somewhere. It sounds counterintuitive but routine has actually allowed me to have more time and worry less about the things I need to get done. It’s also alleviated doing mountains of laundry and having a constantly cluttered home. You can do it too. And yeah, it may cut into your Netflix time, but what do you really want out of life? Finding and establishing routine takes looking at what you want to get done, how much time you’ve got, what your priorities are, and then doing it. Write it down. And start today. 

DO THINGS BY YOURSELF

This is a big one, especially for an introvert like me. There are very few things that give me anxiety, but the idea of going somewhere by myself gives me anxiety. I immediately envision myself sitting the corner by myself while everyone else effortlessly chats casually at an event. But I’ve had to be brave and put myself into uncomfortable positions many times when my husband simply isn’t available to go with me. I’ve attended weddings, social events, church, and community events all by myself. And that’s just a part of this life I’ve learned. I could spend time being mad or resent my husband for not being able to go with me, but I don’t want to make time in my life nor invite the root of bitterness into my heart. So instead, I just embrace it. And pray a lot before I step out the door of my house that there’s some poor soul out there who is willing to sit and chat with me for the evening. And most of the time, there is. 

I’ve also learned that this is huge for mommas with small kids. Being a first time mom, I feel like super mom whenever I brave anywhere alone with Levi. I’ve learned that getting out of the house is not only good for me, it’s also good for Levi. If you’re having a particularly bad day with toddler meltdowns or the baby hasn’t napped, pack everyone up and get out of the house. Go for a walk, stop by the library, or heck just wander through the grocery store. A change of scenery and environment does us all good. It gives us time to breathe, reflect, and find the strength to make it through the rest of the day. And in some cases, it puts us in the same path as a friendly stranger who reminds you that you’re doing a good job Momma. 

GET SOME REST

This one is one of the least practiced things especially in times of stress. Often when we are stressed out, we work harder and sleep less. We don’t put value in rest when we’ve been told all our lives to “make hay when the sun shines”. But I can’t stress enough how important rest is. When we don’t get enough rest, it manifests physically and even mentally or emotionally out of our body. It can be the trigger for a whole host of problems.

Now I’m not saying that everyone needs to be sleeping 12 hours a night, but in the midst of the harvest bustle, be mindful about your sleep and the rest you’re getting. And when you can, put a priority on ensuring you’re getting enough. Your mind will be more clear, you’ll be able to work more efficiently, and you’ll feel better physically, mentally, and emotionally if you’re well rested. And for us mommas, you’ll be able to emotionally and mentally handle the stresses of days without dad at home MUCH better when you’ve gotten your rest. And yes, sometimes this means napping when the baby naps. It’s okay. Lay down and get some sleep girlfriend! Your whole family will benefit because of it. 

So I’m curious – what’s on your list? What things do you do during harvest that help you thrive??