Establishing Balance & Boundaries in Motherhood

THE NEWBORN HAZE SWITCHES OFF

FINDING YOUR BEST YES AND NOS

If you haven’t ever read the Lysa Terkeurst book, The Best Yes, I highly recommend it. It is a wonderful faith based book about deciphering our purpose and living the life that God planned for us. And she discusses all about making wise choices and curating your own life. If we take the time to define our purpose and set our priorities accordingly, it becomes easier to decide what is our best yes and what is our best no. 

And when we realize that we are indeed living out our purpose and the life God meant, we are less likely to feel guilty about those saying no moments. I don’t know about you but at times the guilt over saying no is real. Especially when you live in a small town. But when I remember the priorities I’ve set and the boundaries I am establishing for our family, it becomes easier to say no guilt free knowing that our family will blossom and be fruitful because of it. 

YOU DON’T NEED TO BE SUPERMOM

I have come to the realization that no matter how much I try, I can’t do it all OR have it all as contrary to popular belief and what society tells us. Something has to give, sacrifices have to be made. And it is up to me to decide what’s most important and what is to be sacrificed. I may not be able to be supermom, but it doesn’t mean I can’t do many things well. And I am more likely to accomplish the things I set out to do when I pick and choose them intentionally and with careful consideration versus doing them just because it is expected or because I feel pressured by guilt. 

There are A LOT of different things I wish I could be doing at this very moment. Things that I want to add back into my life that were priorities and habits pre-baby, but I know that they won’t become habits again at this current time in my life. And that there will be a time in the future when I have mastered this stage that I will be ready to add more onto my plate. So I have to stop focusing and stressing out about all the things I am NOT doing now and instead focus on the things I am doing and doing them well. This may be something like working out, volunteering, or heck even something like making the bed! Whatever it is – make your mental list of the things you want to do, realistically and do them well. And let the rest go for right now! 

ESTABLISH BOUNDARIES GUILT FREE

For me, establishing boundaries looks like segregating my time and prioritizing the time I spend with my little man. Since I am back to work and I don’t spend my days with my little man, I value and work to protect the time we have at nights. This even includes trying to unplug from scrolling social media so I can really be present with Levi and Mark if he is home. I have really had to evaluate what evening activities (meetings, town events, etc.) are worth it to me in order to give up that precious time spent with Levi. I have quickly realized that time is absolutely a thief and I won’t get these moments back as Levi continues to grow. 

When I look back on my life, I won’t regret that I prioritized spending time with my kids, I will regret that I prioritized everything else in place of spending time with my kids. And I keep this in mind when I set boundaries to protect that time. For me, this has meant not being as present in many activities I was pre-Levi as well as saying no to things. And let me tell you, not everyone understands that. But that is okay because it is our life, our family, and we have to make decisions in the best interest of that – not everyone else’s lives. 

I hope that sharing my experience and journey in establishing boundaries and finding balance has helped other Mommas out there not feel like they are alone in this struggle. It isn’t easy to make decisions in a world that is endlessly demanding and coming at you a hundred miles an hour. But as I said before, life is short and it isn’t worth living constantly stressed out and feeling burnt out all the time. And if you are, maybe it is a sign that everything on your plate needs to be re-evaluated. Certainly, there will be times and seasons of more stress and business than others. But taking time to set priorities and establish boundaries can ultimately help you navigate all the seasons in life as those things will become healthy habits for a happy and fruitful home life with your kiddos!