Last year at this time I was buzzing with excitement on becoming the new Mrs. Rohrich in a matter of hours. And certainly, our wedding day was literally one that dreams are made of.
A far away location in the mountains, sunflowers, sunshine, and making a promise to the man I love. I will never, ever forget that feeling of butterflies that came up in my stomach as I turned the corner and made my way down the aisle.
Today, we celebrate one year of marriage. One small link in the chain that makes up a marriage. It seems insignificant to those who have been married for twenty, thirty, and even forty years or more. But the first year is important.
People say the first year of marriage is the hardest. As with anything, leading up to our marriage I couldn’t get enough of marriage books. I read through them and soaked up ever kernel of knowledge. Preparing myself to be the best wife I could be for that man I love so much. I remember coming across a passage in The Most Important Year that stopped me in my tracks.
“One woman may enter marriage with an unquestioning “he completes me” attitude. But within the first year, that same woman can find herself is complete post martial shock, as simple conversation becomes increasingly difficult with the man who used to be her soulmate… as though someone changed all the rules without telling her.”
I remember laughing. Audibly. Out loud. And thinking to myself, that will never be me and my husband. We know each other. We love each other. That will never be us.
But wouldn’t you know it… it happened. It felt as if suddenly I was no longer with the person I dated, but I was with the person I married. Whoever that is!?
So who is the man I married? I learn more about him every day. As he keeps adding to the pages that make up him, my husband.
One day I recognize that man I dated, but then the next day a whole new man appears. And I know this won’t be something that will ever quit. The man I married a year ago won’t be the same man I married 10 years from now.
Life is always changing, all the time. And much like life, people change too. The ebbs and flows of life happen, just like the ebbs and flows of a marriage happen. That husband of mine will never be the same man I dated, but that’s okay.
I didn’t marry the man my husband is now or 6 months ago or even two years ago. I married him for who he is. Ever changing.
I chose him.
And I choose to love him.
The man he is today, the man he will be tomorrow, and the man who he will become.
As a married couple coming out of the first year in our marriage, it sounds like a silly concept. After all, we are newlyweds! But the biggest lesson we have learned through our first year of marriage has been to chose love.
To chose love through all the times where it felt like we were each speaking another language. To chose love through the times where I couldn’t believe that thing I never thought would happen, was happening.
During the times when you would think we would want to do nothing but drift apart from one another. The times that make me want to rip my hair out and shout at the top of my lungs. The times when I just wanted to cry my eyes out over frustration.
Maybe I did cry and maybe there was some yelling. But at the end of the day, I waved the white flag. I took a deep breath. I reached for his hand. And I chose to love that husband I married today, tomorrow, and forever.
Together in our first year of marriage… We have laughed. We have cried. We have fought. We have grown in our marriage. We have changed. We have learned more about each other than any person should ever know about the opposite sex. And we will continue to learn. But there is one principle I hope we never, ever forget.
Always choose love.
Happy Anniversary to the man who lights my fire, makes me laugh, continues to be my rock, who makes me hug him when I am mad at him, who tests me and challenges me, who provides for me, and who loves me unconditionally. My husband.
There isn’t a day that goes by that I am not thanking God for bringing you to me. Here’s to the many more years of learning, love, and life.
p.s. thank you for humoring me and allowing me to capture these photos… even though when we stepped into the field, after a week of nagging you about photos in the sunflowers, you told me “the Ag pilot is coming to spray this field in 15 minutes”. Who says life with a farmer isn’t fun?