Farming Love Story & Marriage

Dear Ladies Vying for the Heart of Prince Farming…

I will be honest I haven’t fallen into the trap of watching this season’s The Bachelor. In case you’ve been under a rock, this season’s Bachelor has the Ag community on fire. Chris Soules from Iowa, cleverly referred to as Prince Farming, has joined this reality TV show to find love.

What I have been following are the many commentaries made regarding the show. From blog posts to Facebook posts, many are totally on board. Lots are skeptical about how Ag will be portrayed while in the spotlight. Even more are skeptical that any of these ladies will ever make it on the farm. But either way, let me remind you, this is reality television. It is designed to be entertaining and let’s be honest, the farm life is far from glamorous and full of prime time TV worthy drama.

But here in the real world, the truth is that many of us non-farm girls have made it on the farm. And that potential comments made about the ladies vying for Prince farming’s heart can sting to us. We may not be the high maintenance ladies featured on reality TV, but it sure is possible. Point is, it doesn’t matter what background you come from, you can make it on the farm. From high heels to boots, ladies, I’m here to give you some encouragement and a little dose of reality. Ha, pun intended!

Respect the Farm.

It was his first love. It was the thing that first took his heart. It’s hard to explain the rush he gets when he steps foot in the combine or tractor. But it happens. It’s deeply engrained in who he is. Some say the farm is the other woman, but I don’t like that analogy. Instead I choose to respect and love what we do, even when it’s hard and even when I get jealous that the farm sucks more of his attentions than I do during certain seasons. Bottom line, the more respect you give the farm, the better your relationship will get.

It Will Feel Like Sometimes He Cares More About the Farm.

The truth is This couldn’t be further from the truth. If there’s anything I’ve learned in these few years together, it’s that farmers work hard. But they do so in order to provide for you and your family. It’s hard to remember that when it’s midnight and you haven’t seen your husband for three days. Take a deep breath and remember, You have his heart. He chose you. He believes in you. And he wants you to be a part of this farm life for a reason. Don’t forget that.

Be Willing to Learn.

Your worldview may be challenged. Your perspective may shift. You may learn to do things you never imagined in your wildest dreams. Don’t be discouraged if you don’t know a soybean from a corn plant, you will learn. Every day will pose an opportunity to learn something new. Take advantage of it rather than just letting it go by without a care. P.S. He will love that you take an interest in what he does too!

It Will Take Patience.

If you don’t have patience, you will eventually learn it. Some days this may require having a break down in your vehicle on the side of a gravel road. Or crying in the bottom of the shower at midnight while he is still out harvesting. Just remember that the times of trials together are times for growth. Deep breaths help. Positive enforcement helps. Prayers help. Patience will come, you’ve just got to work for it.

Choose Your Battles Carefully.

Sometimes it may be necessary to grin and bear it. In the heat of a moment it is so easy to focus on the petty, little things. The little things will eat you up if you let them. And certainly there is a time and place to discuss the little things, but the middle of harvest is not that time. Always remember to count your blessings. And sometimes if you just let it go, all will be well the next day.

You Can Do It. 

There will always be reminders of the reality that relationships fail. It’s a fact of life. But just because you’re struggling through your relationship with a farmer doesn’t mean your relationship is doomed. Truth is, we all struggle. We’ve all gone through periods of time where we weren’t sure we could do it. We’ve overcome and you can too. It takes work, but I’m here to tell you, you can do it!

The Truth Is… We Need You.

Crystal Cattle said it first… Right now more than ever we need people outside of agriculture to join in. With less than 2% of the population actively involved in farming and ranching, we represent such a small segment of the population. And with the average age of a farmer at 55 years old… We need new blood, we need new perspectives. In some places we may need a new sense of passion and innovation for this farm life we’ve been living. You will be the people to provide that.

Ladies, I know there are many out there skeptical of you. I’ve heard those skeptical words myself. I’ve been that new person in a small farm town. I’ve heard the rumors about this Californian city girl marrying a farmer.

But I’m living proof that you can do it. You will learn, you will adapt, and I truly believe you will find love in that prince farming of yours. Don’t let this life scare you. And surely don’t let the negative people of this world tell you you can’t do it. Because you can. And we would love to welcome you into this wonderful world of farming!

Mark and Jenny Sunflowers-3

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  • Jennifer
    February 9, 2015 at 7:48 pm

    Soo enjoy reading your blog posts, they always speak to me, being new to the farming life, and a city gal. 🙂 Too bad you don’t live in miss, so we could hang out during planting season. Haha keep up the great work!

    • susan martin
      February 9, 2015 at 8:33 pm

      you are sooooo right on! City girl married country guy here…and yes, you DO feel as if the ‘other woman’ is his cows and tractors and “the farm”!!!!…but there will never be a man who will work as HARD as my man for his family. Jennifer, you hit all the stops with this article. However, a word of caution: Alot of women “romanticize” being married to a farmer and it’s often farrrrrrr from it! Calls at 2 a.m. with cows on the road, emergency c-sections in the barn at midnight, cow-manure-covered boots on your newly clean kitchen floor….and putting in hay on the fourth of July because “acres and acres are down and it’s going to rain tomorrow”, watching your entire soybean crop destroyed by ONE fierce hail storm in August….sigh…..Being married to a farmer is NOT for the faint-hearted woman who needs to be coddled and romanticized. It’s for a strong gal who knows herself and knows her man’s heart…even when he does not have the time to pay her attention because he’s putting out crops. Get it? I thought you would! thanks again for a great article.

  • anjanette
    February 10, 2015 at 10:17 am

    They should invite you as a guest on the show for some heart to hearts with Chris & the potential girls!!

  • Kate
    February 10, 2015 at 11:46 am

    Awesome read! I’m a city girl, small town actually….but I’m dating a farmer and it is way harder than I ever thought it would be. I Love everything about the farm and being with him in the tractor. We have been through all the seasons together now and I can tell you that not even being married to one(yet!) I know all of what you are talking about! It’s hard but it’s soo worth it! I love his farm and his animals because it’s a part of him and I love him. 🙂