Well.. I have officially ONE WEEK until I become a resident of North Dakota… That’s SEVEN days to finish packing up boxes, shipping things, and getting everything in order before I say goodbye to California.. To the town I was born and raised in, to the job I’ve worked at basically my whole life..
Working full time here as well as doing work for My farmer’s latest business venture, Maverick Ag, on top of trying to prepare to move has kept me beyond busy. But when I do get a moment to sit down. To take it all in. It feels so surreal. I keep asking myself, is this really happening? When I start to think about it all, emotions flood me. I don’t think I’ve felt so many emotions at one time.
First of all I am sad. Sad to be saying goodbye to seeing my family day in and day out. For those of you who may not know, I work for my parents at their business, Chico Locker & Sausage Co. Inc. On top of that, my mom is my best friend. We shop together, we go get pedicures together, I’ve spent many an evening talking with her over a glass of wine. She’s my ultimate advice-giver, my fashion consultant, my shopping assistant, my sous chef when I cook for her and Dad… She’s so many things. And well, my Dad.. I talk about everything he is to me here..
Sad to be saying goodbye to all my family friends, customers, basically anyone and everyone who has had me in their lives since I was little. Growing up in my parent’s business, countless people have watched me grow from the little girl with the brown curls into the woman I am today. And well now, I am following my heart which is taking me all the way to North Dakota. For some people close to me (my parents included), that’s a hard pill to swallow. There is no doubt that everyone knows I’m beyond happy in my decisions. My farmer lights up my life like nobody ever has and they all know that. They can see it, there’s no denying it. My eyes shine, my smile is bright, and people realize that. But, saying goodbye to these people, seeing these people on a sometimes daily, weekly, monthly basis… Well, that’s going to be one the hardest things I’ve ever done.
Along with feelings of sadness, there comes some feelings of fear. Nobody ever said that pursuing your dreams was easy. And in fact, when I think about it… What I am about to do takes a heck of a lot of courage. To up and leave and move to somewhere when you’ve never lived anywhere else before. Durham/Chico, CA has been my home since birth. I never thought I’d leave. Now here I am, about to embark on a new life 1,500 miles away. It will also be scary to give up my job where I feel comfortable.. All I’ve ever known is meat and now I am about to be thrown into the world of farming. But along with all of the fear comes excitement…
Excitement for the new opportunities, for the new dreams to be made and accomplished. Excitement for getting to know a new place, meeting new people, and forming new relationships. Excitement to help my farmer start his new business venture. To build it, to help be a process of something I know is bound to be great. Excitement for being able to carve my own place there in the prairies of North Dakota. There in that house in Ashley, North Dakota with my farmer. Excitement for the fact that I am taking these opportunities, these blessings given to me and making them my own.
But when it all comes down it… The best part about the whole entire thing..? No matter how overwhelmed I’m feeling, No matter how scared, stressed, or sad I may be feeling.. I have got someone there, right next to me. Someone there who is always willing to help me, who is always willing to give me confidence when I need it, to help me bring my blessings back into perspective. To be the reality when I feel like my world is out of control. My strong and steady. Or as I’ve described him before, My Rock.
Mark Rohrich, knowing a life with you is ahead of me comforts any and all of my fears and sadness. Words cannot even express how lucky I feel to be embarking on this adventure with you by my side. You’re such an incredible, remarkable man in so, so many ways and I know with all of my soul that we will make an excellent team in life. You make up for what I lack and I could go on and on about all the wonderful things I absolutely adore about you. I know that life won’t be rainbows and sunshine, we will have our cloudy days, we will have thunderstorms. But it is my hope remembering back on how alive you make me feel, how much you inspire me to be better, how much in love with you I am, we will be able to weather out any storm life throws at us. And most of all, knowing that you’ll be there, right next to me, through the good times and the bad times that gives me confidence in the future. And that when asked, “is this really what you want..? Do you really want to do this..?” You fill me with the confidence in answering that question with… Without a doubt in my mind. This is what I want.
When you believe in the power of love, the power of your dreams, the power of taking life into your own hands… All things are possible. Even for this born and raised California girl about to take on the prairies of North Dakota.
2 Comments